This page includes all of the conversations heard in-game. If you are looking for the character quotes, please redirect yourself to the ones that have been created thus far.
Conversations with an asterisk (*) are conversations that occur during matches.
If you would like to listen to the conversations, please visit the official website!
Two Characters Edit
Abe and Bucket  - Diplomacy Edit
[Abe] Bucket, you ever want to upgrade your mobile unit, or uh, whatever you call that chassis, you let me know.
[Bucket] Really? You would do that for me?
[Abe] Course, man. Celestial's got a new AE-35 mobile unit.
[Abe] Be about a thousand times better than that HuangCorp piece of junk you're running around in.
[Bucket] The Celestial models are... expensive. You are not talking about theft?
[Abe] Come on, man. You think I don't know who I'm talking to? You don't steal it, you just find someone who's got one...
[Abe] Find out what he wants that he ain't got. Preferably before he knows what you're looking for.
[Bucket] Ah, I see. Diplomacy.
[Abe] Sort of. And uh, Bucket?
[Bucket] Yes, sir?
[Abe] Traditionally, you don't ask the scrounger how he gets it's shit. It's not, uh... polite.
[Bucket] I understand, sir.
Abe and Bucket  - It Is The Best Edit
[Abe] Bucket! All right. Turrets for days, my favorite.
[Bucket] They do make it easier to kill a giant monster!
[Abe] Yes they do, especially when the monster is wrapped in a stasis grenade.
[Bucket] I admit to a certain thrill when I see the giant brute struggling against your stasis field.
[Bucket] All the while my turrets happily chew through it's armor.
[Abe] It is the best!
[Bucket] The turrets love it, too. They're very happy little drones when they can make a difference.
[Abe] You can hear them talk?
[Abe] And what's that like?
[Bucket] Like listening to humans, except without all the gasses.
Abe and Bucket  - This Is A Strange Job Edit
[Abe] Bucket, there has to be a way to wire up your remote unit so it doesn't just sit there while you're flying your head around.
[Bucket] Oh there is!
[Abe] Well then why ain't you using it, metal man?
[Bucket] We tried it early on in our planet taming career. The problem is going back to my chassis afterwards.
[Bucket] It's incredibly disorienting to find myself suddenly in a strange place going in a strange direction.
[Bucket] Often with something horrible in front of me going 'raaghaaugh!'
[Abe] Makes sense I guess.
[Bucket] Much easier to find a place to park my Chassis and take my head off.
[Abe] I can dig it. Man, I can't believe I'm on a spaceship talking to a robot about taking his head off.
[Abe] This is a strange job.
[Bucket] Getting stranger every day!
Abe and Cabot  - Parnell Has A Big Mouth Edit
[Cabot] Do you have plans for your payout once we finish this job, Abe?
[Abe] I don't think that far ahead, man.
[Cabot] Ok. I thought you might try and pay some people off, visit your dad.
[Abe] Who the fuck told you that? One of your cop computers look that up for you?
[Cabot] Parnell told me.
[Abe] Oh. That guy's got a big mouth.
[Cabot] Well you ever get serious about that, let me know. I still have a lot of friends in the Marshal service.
[Cabot] Get you back to Hub for a while without anyone knowing.
[Abe] You serious?
[Cabot] Sure. Plus, you know, we get off this planet your dad would probably like to see you.
[Cabot] Hear about what happened here.
[Abe] Yeah. Maybe. I dunno.
Abe and Cabot  - Not Our Brief Edit
[Abe] Cabot, you gotta give me a reason for letting Kala onboard.
[Cabot] It's a strange situation, I admit.
[Cabot] But having her on the team gives us a better chance to understand what these things are.
[Cabot] Maybe where they come from. How to stop them.
[Abe] That's not our brief and you know that.
[Cabot] Who else is going to do it?
[Abe] I was afraid you'd say that.
Abe and Caira  - Oh No Edit
[Abe] Oh no.
[Caira] What? You see me and it's "Oh no"? How's that supposed to make me feel?
[Abe] I just had lunch!
[Caira] I don't know why you eat before a drop.
[Abe] Because I was hungry! And I LIKE eating!
[Caira] Well you'll be hungry again in a minute, and you can eat again. What are you complaining about?
[Abe] I'll be hungry again because when you use the adrenaline boost, I lose my lunch an hour later!
[Caira] It's not my fault! We've got monsters to catch, what do you want me to do?
[Abe] I just don't want to throw up all the time. Gets on my boots. These are nice boots.
[Caira] Ah, Daisy will lick it up, relax.
Abe and Caira  - More Than The Patterson Effect* Edit
[Abe] What the hell is this thing?
[Caira] Uh, it's a thermo-regulator. Goes down about 40 meters into the bedrock.
[Caira] Keeps the whole place thawed out.
[Abe] So why's the Monster give a shit about it?
[Caira] Good question! No idea. I thought for a while that the Monster was attracted to the Patterson Effect... But these regulators don't use it.
Abe and Caira  - Donuts* Edit
[Caira] Big black donuts here!
[Abe] Are you kidding me?
[Caira] Sort of. What are these things?
[Abe] They're tires.
[Caira] Uhh... got it.
[Abe] You know what a tire is, right?
[Caira] I can tell by the way you ask that you suspect the answer is no... and you are correct! What are tires?
[Abe] Holy shit.
[Caira] No, seriously... what are they?
[Abe] You know what a tire is! You just wanna say:
[Abe] "Oooh, we don't have these on EARTH because we're all stupid rich and have poor people carry us on their backs!" That about right?
[Caira] Well, we don't have them on Earth and I don't know what they are and you don't have to be an ass about it.
[Abe] Uh, it's kinda my thing.
Abe and Caira  - A Simple Medic Edit
[Abe] I'm keeping you in front of me, this time.
[Caira] What? Me?
[Abe] Don't give me that "little old me?" shtick, you know what I'm talking about.
[Caira] I'm sure I don't. I'm merely a simple medic, trying to keep the team healthy.
[Abe] You fucking napalm-grenaded me in the ass last time.
[Caira] That was... that's not how I remember it.
[Abe] You laughed your ass off!
[Caira] I distinctly remember you begging for help and then I saved you and you complimented me on how valuable I am to the team.
[Abe] I will tracking dart you in the face. I will. I will do it.
[Caira] You don't have the balls.
[Abe] Ohoh, this is gonna be... why do we have Monsters? We're gonna kill each other.
Abe and Caira  - The Patterson Tech Edit
[Abe] How's the research coming?
[Caira] That depends on what you want to know.
[Abe] Where'd these things come from?
[Caira] I don't know. They're not man-made, I can tell you that...
[Abe] Ok, that's something. What do they want?
[Caira] That's sorta outside the scope of my research, buuut...
[Caira] There is something no one's talking about.
[Abe] Well, let's talk about it.
[Caira] The Monsters are happy leaving people alive. But they always, always go after the Patterson Tech.
[Caira] The relays, the generators. You notice that?
[Abe] Yeah. Yeah I did, what does it mean?
[Caira] Your guess is as good as mine.
[Abe] I doubt that.
Abe and Caira  - Could Happen In The Afternoon Edit
[Abe] Caira, you got any idea what's going on with our mutant support chick?
[Caira] I think I do and you are not going to like it. She's not a chick, by the way. I would accept lady, or woman or doctor.
[Abe] Ok, ok. Is she going to turn into an insane Kraken-Wraith in the middle of the night?
[Caira] Not necessarily in the middle of the night?
[Abe] Are you kidding!?
[Caira] I don't know what's going on Abe.
[Caira] If you had told me Dr. Kala Kapur would be helping me with my research I'd have thought that was it. Problem solved.
[Caira] Now I don't know what to think.
Abe and Caira  - We're All In This Together Edit
[Abe] Caira, you doin' alright?
[Caira] What? Yeah. I'm fine. Why?
[Abe] I don't know, you look... you know. When was the last time you got some sleep?
[Caira] Uh... I don't, uhh... between drops and working in the Lab.
[Caira] Trying to figure these Monsters out. I dunno. Couple of days ago?
[Abe] Ok, well... you need to sleep. Otherwise you make mistakes in the field, you make mistakes in the Lab.
[Abe] Miss a lot of stuff you woulda seen otherwise.
[Caira] Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. I'll get some sleep after this drop. Uh, thanks, Abe.
[Abe] Hey, we're all in this together, right?
[Caira] I guess we are.
Abe and Emet  - Too Many Robots Edit
[Emet] Abraham Presley!
[Abe] Great, another robot.
[Emet] The famous bounty hunter!
[Abe] Famous, huh...? Who told you that? Also, it's just Abe.
[Emet] Everyone on the team talks about you.
[Abe] Oh, that kinda famous. Sure, I'm a popular guy. Help people get stuff when they need it.
[Emet] I am also here to help! I will heal you in combat!
[Abe] Yeah, you're an EMT drone. But uh, can you fight?
[Emet] #I'LL RIP OFF YOUR DICK AND BEAT YOU WITH IT!
[Abe] Ok, well, that answers that.
Abe and Hank  - A Box Of Fish* Edit
[Hank] Now this is a serious fucking Bohrium plant.
[Abe] Borium, that's like soap or something, right?
[Hank] What? No, man, it's an ore. One of the ultra-stable transuranics.
[Hank] All of the Patterson Tech uses it. Most of that shit has a half-life of like a gaillionth of a second,
[Hank] but Bohrium lasts a few billion years. Means ya gotta find a NEW planet in a planetary nebula,
[Hank] like Shear. Probably why you got all these moons everywhere. Place is still young.
[Abe] You know, sometimes you talk like a hick hillbilly motherfucker and sometimes you talk like a... nuclear scientist?
[Hank] Man, this shit is the reason we have colonies. Just 'cause I was raised out here doesn't mean I'm ignorant.
[Hank] I don't make fun of you being dumber than a box of fish.
[Abe] I wasn't making fun man, just saying you know a lot of shit. Goddamn...
Abe and Hank  - Way Better Edit
[Hank] Come on, Abe. How'd a shit-hot bounty hunter like you end up out here?
[Abe] Same as you, man. Need the money.
[Hank] I hear that. We get out of here, we'll all be rich. Thought you'd miss bounty huntin' though, compared to this shit.
[Abe] Man, bounty hunting sucks balls.
[Abe] Kinda thing you do when you can't do anything else. This is way better.
Abe and Hank  - We Were Rooting For The Insect Men Edit
[Hank] Now Abe...
[Abe] Now Hank.
[Hank] We need all the help we can get out here, you know that.
[Abe] Yes I do.
[Hank] So don't... at least until we get off this rock, do not shoot Slim!
[Abe] I don't know why everybody...
[Abe] Listen man, that bounty? It's a Hub bounty! Do you get it?
[Hank] Still ten million keys.
[Abe] Yeah. Do you know WHY the bounty's so high?
[Hank] Hadn't really given it a thought, to tell you the truth.
[Abe] It's because all those guys are hiding out here. Out here where everyone hates Hub.
[Abe] We were all rooting for the insect men!
[Abe] Anyway, what would I do with ten million keys? Buy a ship and wreck it.
Abe and Hyde  - We're good Edit
[Abe] Hyde, you got... something on your face, man.
[Hyde] That's funny. Funny joke you made. About my face.
[Abe] Ah, I'm just bullshitting, man. We're... we're good.
[Abe] I figure that's like a badge or some shit. ChemTrooper badge.
[Hyde] Nah. Lotta 'troopers wore masks. Not me.
[Hyde] I like seeing the man I'm burning, up close like.
[Abe] Well, alright then!
Abe and Hyde  - Flame Juice Edit
[Abe] Hyde, I got you some more of your flame juice, you see that?
[Hyde] I did, I did indeed. How much do I owe you?
[Abe] Nothing, man! Operational expenses.
[Hyde] Where do you find this stuff?
[Abe] You know the rules, man. Don't ask the scrounger where he gets his shit.
[Abe] But I will tell you it ain't hard to dig up industrial stuff on a world falling apart.
[Abe] Give me enough time, I'll find you another eyeball!
[Abe] Squid eyeball maybe. So they both match.
[Hyde] Oi. Just for that, I'm flaming you first.
Abe and Kala  - You're Fine? Edit
[Abe] Whoa, Jesus! Holy hell what am I looking at!?
[Abe] I mean, uh... [clears throat] Hello.
[Kala] Hello. I'm, ah... I'm Kala.
[Abe] Hello, Kala. Are you ah... alright? Do you need like, an aspirin or something?
[Kala] I'm fine. For the moment.
[Abe] You're fine. You got a mutant arm and a glowing Kraken eye and you're fine.
[Kala] I wouldn't be much help fighting Monsters without them.
[Abe] Well! I guess! That makes sense!
[Abe] I don't even know why I asked, you know?
[Abe] I miss the days when the weirdest thing I had to deal with was the stupid robot.
[Kala] Me too.
Abe and Kala  - An Unhappy Side Effect Edit
[Abe] Listen, Kala, I got a question.
[Abe] I've seen you fight and you're right. You're good at it. You can hold your own.
[Abe] But is that why you did that to yourself?
[Kala] No. I was trying to understand the Monsters better.
[Abe] Wait, hold up, you mean understand them better like 'how does their DNA work, lemme inject some'?
[Abe] Or 'How do THEY work, lemme BECOME one'?
[Kala] The former. I assure you I had no intention to become a Monster.
[Abe] Oh, just a... happy side effect?
[Kala] Do I seem happy?
[Abe] I withdraw the question.
Abe and Kala  - Aggressive Genetics Edit
[Abe] Listen, Ms. Monster lady.
[Kala] I'm only half Monster. At the moment.
[Abe] When you shot Monster DNA into yourself, what did you THINK was gonna happen?
[Kala] I thought my T-cells would recognize the alien genetics and fight them off.
[Kala] I'd get a bad flu for a while, but get better.
[Kala] That would've told me a lot. But the Monster's HNA was... aggressive.
[Abe] How aggressive?
[Kala] That remains to be seen.
[Abe] Man, me and Cabot, we need to have another talk.
[Kala] Alright, Abe. Abe, I don't know what happens next.
[Abe] Next is we jump outta this ship.
[Kala] I mean... to me.
[Abe] Yeah, I sorta figured that's what you meant.
[Kala] I'm worried... I'm afraid this might get worse. That I might... lose control.
[Abe] It'll be ok one way or the other.
[Kala] It will?
[Abe] Yep! 'Cause if it gets much worse than THAT? I get even a flicker of you being a danger to this team?
[Abe] I'll put a supermat round in your skull before you even know what happened.
[Kala] Ahh. Thank you... thank you, Abraham.
[Abe] Don't mention it.
Abe and Lennox  I Could Be Rich! Edit
[Lennox] Don't even think about it, hotshot.
[Abe] Oh, I'm thinking about it. I mean, how long to mass-produce?
[Lennox] I don't know, it's not even...
[Abe] I mean you could easily get a million keys per unit.
[Lennox] What?! You don't know what...
[Abe] It's a Celestial Magma Diver, right? Every mining colony in the arm has a dozen of those sitting around.
[Abe] You use 'em once and throw 'em away. No one puts colonies near active volcanos anymore.
[Lennox] Ok, so you have thought about it.
[Abe] Told you. We could be RICH.
[Lennox] I am rich.
[Abe] Ok, I could be rich.
Abe and Markov  - Abe's A Likable Guy Edit
[Abe] Markov, where'd you get that lightning gun?
[Markov] It is a modified welding torch. Ships' hulls are made from graphene composites.
[Markov] Fire does not weld them. Also, fire does not burn in space.
[Abe] Ah, got it, got it. Ok, that makes sense.
[Abe] I've seen every kind of ordinance this side of Shutter Station, and I have never seen a weapon like that. It was killing me.
[Markov] Now you know. If you wish, I will show you how to modify.
[Markov] Is difficult, but you are good with weapons.
[Abe] I would be grateful.
[Markov] Hmph... How grateful?
[Abe] One large Martian woman grateful, we ever get off this rock. How about that?
[Markov] Hehehe. I like you, Abraham.
[Abe] Well, of course you do. I'm a likable guy!
Abe and Markov  - He's Talking About Hank And Caira Edit
[Abe] I notice you never zap any of us by accident with that lightning gun.
[Markov] There is a chip inside. It detects the comm units we each have, and Bucket's and Daisy's. Safety feature!
[Abe] Ah. So if someone were to, say, disable that chip... then your gun would zap people.
[Abe] I'm just... you know, for medical purposes I may just need to see some people get zapped.
[Markov] Medical purposes.
[Abe] There are certain people on the team who hit me with the orbital on purpose of the napalm grenade...
[Abe] And they need to get zapped. That's science, you can't argue with that.
[Markov] I must guard my gun carefully, I see this now.
Abe and Parnell  - Basis Station Edit
[Abe] Jim, what do you reckon the odds are of us getting off this rock?
[Parnell] 'Bout the same as us getting off Basis Station.
[Abe] Hah! Oh man. That good, huh? Goddamn.
[Abe] You think Sunny's gonna swoop in, save our ass? That was some epic shit man.
[Parnell] Heh. Yeah it was.
Abe and Parnell  - Trillium And Locke & Key Edit
[Parnell] You finish that comic, man?
[Abe] Which one? You gave me like five of 'em.
[Parnell] Start with the one with the kids in the house with the keys.
[Abe] Ah, I gave that one to Markov, he was up all night reading it.
[Abe] I tried the one with the dude... in the future? But he's also a girl in the past? Or maybe they're two different people?
[Abe] And I gotta flip the thing over? It's weird.
[Parnell] That one's super good though, stick with it.
[Abe] Where'd you dig up all this stuff written 300 years ago? They got new comics man.
[Parnell] My grandfather gave 'em to me.
[Parnell] Just 'cause its old don't mean it ain't good.
[Abe] That's gonna be on your tombstone, man.
Abe and Parnell  - Expensive But Useless* Edit
[Abe] Fuck is that thing up there?
[Parnell] Barracks, man. Same as everything else.
[Abe] Well, what the hell is it doing way up there?
[Parnell] You don't get it, man. Everything underneath us, this whole place - is the Barracks. That's just one little bit sticking out.
[Abe] You are fucking kidding me. You could fit a whole army in this place!
[Parnell] That's the idea. Sol Guard shows up, you need an army to hold 'em off.
[Abe] And of course none of this does shit against Monsters.
[Parnell] Nope. Ain't worth a shit, but at least it's real expensive.
[Abe] Well ain't that just the fucking Corps to a tee.
Abe and Parnell  - Sunny Made It Edit
[Abe] Sunny's alive man, how crazy is that?
[Parnell] I been sleeping a lot better, I'll tell you that.
[Abe] I bet. I mean I miss Mason, and Dietrich and those guys.
[Abe] But I never, like... I blamed myself for Sunny.
[Parnell] Yeah, I did too. More than you.
[Abe] You worried that now she's stuck here we're us and that ain't a whole lot better than what happened with Solaris?
[Parnell] No man. I worry less now that she's here. Any chance we got of getting out of here just went up.
[Abe] Fuckin' A, man.
Abe and Parnell  - Brothers Edit
[Abe] Hey Parnell?
[Parnell] Yeah man?
[Abe] You know... I don't got any brothers or sisters.
[Abe] Never knew my Mom.
[Parnell] Really? Huh. Me neither.
[Abe] So, I guess, like... thanks, for... adopting me, or whatever.
[Abe] Yeah man?
[Parnell] We're gonna go down in a blaze of glory. Save a few thousand colonists.
[Parnell] There's no one I'd rather do it with. Been brothers for a long time.
[Parnell] Now we're heroes.
[Abe] Yeah? Yeah, heh heh. I guess so, huh? Fuckin' A.
[Abe] Fuckin' A, brother.
Abe and Parnell  - Nothing's Easy Edit
[Abe] That lady's crazy, Jim.
[Parnell] Kala? I dunno, I thought so. Maybe not. Maybe she's braver than all of us.
[Abe] Yeah. Yeah you say that because you don't bunk under her. She talks in her sleep.
[Parnell] You oughtta be used to girls talking in their sleep, Abe.
[Abe] Man, I am not joking. You need to hear this stuff, I don't think it's her talking.
[Abe] It's like mathematical formulas and shit. And chanting.
[Abe] And sometimes, I shit you not, it's an old man's voice. Like, a different voice.
[Parnell] [sigh] Nothing's ever easy. I'll talk to Cabot.
[Abe] Well, you better hurry. Whatever's happening to her is getting worse.
Emet and Jack  - Super Aggressive Edit
[Jack] Emet how’s your demon core working?
[Emet] #I WILL RIP YOUR ARM OFF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!
[Jack] Yeah, it’s working great! Awesome! Missiles all hooked up?
[Emet] #I GOT HELLFIRE MISSILES AND THEY ARE COMING FOR YOUR MOM! GONNA FUCK HER UP!
[Jack] Super aggressive! Yeah! You... still okay, Emet?
[Emet] I am fine!
[Jack] You don’t feel weird or anything?
[Emet] Nope! I am fully charged and ready to heal my teammates!
[Jack] Yeah! Dual cores, working great. I am a genius.
Three Characters Edit
Abe, Bucket and Colonist - Humans Need Air* Edit
[Bucket] Attention humans in Bunker C. Alive and well?
[Colonist] Uh... uh, yeah. Yeah, there's a couple of us still alive in here.
[Bucket] Good... not running out of air?
[Bucket] You do need air to breathe, yes?
[Colonist] Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus, are we gonna run out of air?
[Abe] Bucket, will you stop trying to scare them -- No, you're not gonna run outta air!
[Abe] Jesus. You got a big open viewport right here I can crawl through.
[Bucket] Ha-ha! Sorry.